Sharing your Leadership Stones: A Call to Action

When I first set out to be a blogger, I wasn’t sure where to start. My head was exploding with writing material—lessons from being an educator, thoughts on books I had read, perspectives from my many years as a leader. When I began using the New England wall concept to organize my thoughts, everything came together. I discovered that the things I had learned could be organized into something that was functional and that I could share with others.

Preparing for a speaking gig in New Hampshire last fall, I began to realize that the actual process of forming and placing leadership stones was a powerful tool in and of itself and that  I needed to share with others. It’s a simple concept, really—a way to bring form to what we learn in a way that makes it useful.

Here is the method, simply stated as a metaphor.

A New England wall is made up of stones recovered from land being prepared for planting. The recovered stones differ in shape and size, but when collected and arranged together, they become something that is purposeful: a wall that defines, contains, protects.

Years of reading, learning, working, and connecting with others have left me with a wealth of leadership ideas—stones for a metaphorical wall, if you will-- that I am excited to share with others. The process of gathering these ideas into a cohesive form in itself has been enriching in and of itself. Exploring how those experiences and pieces of information fit together (as I build my New England wall) keeps me growing as a leader. And as I add new stones, I sometimes find that I need to rearrange others to accommodate new learnings.  My leadership wall is ever-changing and evidence of my own personal growth.

I am acutely aware that my colleagues and friends possess wisdom that needs to be shared. At the conference session I led last fall, I shared some examples of “stones” I had collected and asked the attendees to share some of their own. Nearly everyone participated, and without exception, their responses were thoughtful, creative, and diverse. I was in awe of the collective wisdom in that small room, and I walked away thinking that there was a need for this kind of sharing.

As any generation of leaders passes the torch to the next, there is a real need for opportunities to share our experiences and the things we have learned. I am writing this blog as a call to action for my fellow leaders to write down and share some of the leadership stones they have learned through the years.

This is an open invitation to share: What are your leadership stones? What stories can you tell—of great leadership examples that should be followed, as well as those where you’ve learned what not to do? Please email me your stories at dorinda@dorindarife.com and I will compile lessons learned and share them through my website. Aim for, say, no more than 500 words. I look forward to hearing and learning from you—and the opportunity to share your New England wall stones with our community.

On Timing and Communication

One of the most valuable leadership stones I have received came from a direct supervisor. We were in the middle of a difficult transition in which a beloved leader who reported to me had moved on. There was much turmoil within the program he had left, and I was diligently working to connect with his colleagues in order to move forward collaboratively. I tried many forms of communication, including an open call-in time for anyone who wanted to share a perspective or complaint. I gathered a great deal of information from the group, formed an interview team, and wrote a job description. Once the position was posted, I waited.

 At this point, my supervisor shared his concern that I was not actively communicating with the department. That’s weird, I thought—I had been working busily behind the scenes to listen, communicate, form and execute a plan. Now that we were in a lull, advertising the position and waiting for candidates, I didn’t see much point in communicating. Nothing was happening, right? What would I say?

“Whenever there is a void in communication,” he stated, “people fill that void with their own impressions and thoughts, accurate or not.” Communicate something, he said, so that the group would understand that I was paying attention. Communicate something, even if I was communicating that we were in a holding pattern.

This conversation left a huge impression on me. One thing I had already learned: no matter how hard you try to communicate well, you will not get it right with every person. I had tried hard to be inclusive, to listen, to address issues and create a process that was exemplary. But I had failed to understand that communication is continuous-the stream must be steady, accurate, and relevant. It must be real, and it must be reassuring without being patronizing. Even when you’ve checked all these boxes, you must continue to communicate, again and again and again.

The ongoing nature of your communication as a leader is critical. One communication mantra that makes sense to me is this: Communicate seven times, in seven ways. And that means that communication needs to be on a leader’s to-do list, every day.